Låttexter: Weird Al Yankovic. Poodle Hat. Ebay.

Yeah, a used pink bathrobe
A rare mint snow globe
A Smurf TV tray
I bought on E-Bay

My house is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on E-Bay

Tell me why I need another pet rock
Tell me why I got that Alf alarm clock
Tell me why I bid on Shatner's old toupee
They had it on E-Bay

I'll buy your knick-knack
Just check my feedback
"A plus plus" they all say
They love me on E-Bay

Gonna buy a slightly-damaged golf bag
Gonna buy some Beanie Babies, new with tag
From some guy, I've never met in Norway
Found him on E-Bay

I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got Paypal or Visa, whatever'll please
As long as I've got the dough

I'll buy your Tchotchkes
Sell me your watch, please
I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy
I'm highest bidder now

Junk keeps arriving in the mail
From that worldwide garage sale
Hey, A Dukes Of Hazard ashtray
Oh yeah, bought it on E-Bay

Wanna buy a PacMan Fever lunchbox
Wanna buy a case on vintage tube socks
Wanna buy a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre
Found it on E-Bay

Wanna buy that Farrah Fawcet poster
Pez dispensers and a toaster
Don't know why the kind of stuff you throw away
I'll buy on E-Bay

What I bought on E-Bay