Låttexter: Stephen Lynch. For Me.

The union of a woman and a man,
Touching for the very first time;
The gentle texture of a hand,
True love is always hard to find.

And sometimes ? my penis ain?t as hard as wood.
And sometimes ? you?re disappointed in my manlihood.
I can?t take it, please:
Fake it for me.

The delicate nature of love
Can only make this relationship grow.
And though it?s sent from heaven above,
Things don?t always work down below

And I know ? that the porno movies make you feel cheap.
And sometimes ? you finish while I?m fast asleep
I can?t take it, please:

Fake it for me.

I try so hard to be a man, but
You?re so damn hard to please
Doesn?t help to know your best friend
Runs on batteries.
I can?t take it, please:
Fake it for me.

Even though ? my love?s a little premature,
When you call me ?Mr. Softee,? I get...insecure.
I can?t take it ?
Please, fake it ?
For me.