Låttexter: Bette Midler. Fat as I Am!.

Fat as I am
Who wants to see a diva fat as I am?
I get mistaken now for Lainie Kazan
How is it that I'm fat as I am?

Fat as I am
The camera's gonna add a ton to my can
This is the way they say, Godzilla began
How did I get as fat as I am?

Try it again
All of my friends say, I should diet again
That all my fans are gonna riot again
Look what happened to Liz

All of my sins
Are not as numerous as all of my chins
I could audition for the double mint twins
No one in the biz is as fat as I is

Ah, but what's a career
When you put it next to knockwurst and beer
They could park a DC10 on my rear
God knows, I got the gas

There goes the chair
But to tell the truth, I'm too fat to care
I ate a meatball off the floor right over there
Ah, you don't give a damn, when you're fat as I am