Låttexter: Vic Chesnutt. Maiden.

Dogs are barking. Birds are chirping. The only thing better if I was squirting.
But there's no one here to love on me today. For the maiden's on holiday.
I'm a sorry sorry knight in a horrible castle, hoping to avoid certain societal hassles.
I ain't nothing but chivalrous, ain't never been nothing nasty between us.
She knows where she stands, on the heart of a broken man.
It's gonna be bad no matter what so I might as well go ahead and act like a butt.