Låttexter: 3rd Bass. The Cactus Album. Oval Office.

"This recording, is a collection
of unintended indiscretions before microphone"

"Oh who locked the door?"
"A hard man is good to find."
"Open the door!"
"The principles.. of friction"

[Nice]This feeling's a function, so step to this
[Serch]Ain't the average boys who do this
[Nice]Door is opened, to office summoned
[Serch] Yo Pete I think you're in there man! ("I'm coming!")
[Nice]Reception warm, not a handshake
My hands shook, barrier's about to break
[Serch]She was seated, legs long and slammin
[Nice]Oval office opened, so let's begin!
Push my point across, firmly
[Serch]Core proposal
[Nice]Prime Minister serve me, surely ("Surely! Nyuk nyuk nyuk")
I serve you with motion
and doors open wider, coast in
[Serch]Secretary said, "Put Serch on line two..
Yo, put him on hold!"

"That towel was related to my husband!" [repeat 4X]

[MC Serch - speaking in background]
Aiyyo Pete man, let me in man
I'm here to get retarded yo, so step off
Nah I'm not holdin the door to come in
Yo, yo move your, move your elbow!
Move your elbow, yo, you're not dickin on me
Your boy look like the Great Pumpkin
You're frontin like you play the Pumpkin
Move your elbow, because I'm IN THERE!

[Serch]The meeting rotates
[Nice]Mockneck or cactus?
"They got my head boss.."
[BOTH]She attacked us!
[Nice]With a treaty for disarmament
[Serch]We signed
[Nice]Figured there's no harm in it ("Oh alright alright alright..")
So I disarmed
[Serch]And I poured the Scotch
And asked the Prime Minister, mind if I watch?
("Oh my goodness!")
[Nice]Yeah, I reckon
You keep minutes, I'll let you get second
Then the summit rose, I get vetoed
Presidential pardon, let me G yo!
[Serch]Lunch became filet of soul/sole with tongue
[Nice]The Oval Office work is never done!
[Serch]Never done!

"That towel was related to my husband!" [repeat 2X]

[MC Serch - [Pete Nice] speaking in background]
Aiyyo I'm serious man, did you have sex?
Nah man
It was you that did it!
Filet of sole on the Oval Office
on a peanut butter leg
Yo..
She got down to my knees and it spread!

"That towel was related to my husband!" [repeat 2X]

[Nice]G'in, seein, have you playin it like a diplomat
The Oval Office ain't nothin but a boot magnet
[Serch]Close to close, but Pete freaked it anyway
[Nice]Serch said
[Serch]Prime, let's do the three the hard way!
[Nice]And knockin like we're knockin
[Serch]BOOTS!
The office flooded with the sex check suits
Deploy missiles of the MX variety
[Nice]Spoken spasm of invasion inside of me
[Serch]I release my rebels, the onslaught ceased
* woman moaning "uhhh, uhhh, uhhh, uhhh" *
And in the Oval Office
[Nice]Finally peace!
Motions carried out, played it like Presidents
[Serch]What's the Oval Office?
[Nice]Our permanent residence!
[Serch]Meeting of the mind, as well as the pelvis
[Nice]Aiyyo Bush!
[Serch]We're audi like Elvis!

Aiyyo Serch you're in there man
You're finally in there, for the first time man!
"Victims of these classic boners.."
Yo move that thick body of yours
Move that thick white body!
"Victims of these classic boners.."

[MC Serch]
Yes, yes -- WOOOOOODIEE!
I've got the woody!
I've got the woodie -- and I'm gonna get the head
"Victims of these classic boners.."
I can feel it! You gotta understand see
"Victims of these classic boners.."
Gotta understand the subject of the topic
There's too much butt-waxin, no --
there's too much vaseline usage
There's too much KY jelly
Cause I've got the WOOOOODIEE!
I have the woody man, I have
Yo let me tell you somethin man, you're a GIRLIE MAN
You're a flabber man, I am a muscle man
I think you are my auntie
Cause I am the man who is in the Oval Office
You're just a GIRLIE FLABBER MAN, you hamster man
I'm a great man, you're a flabber man

Uhh, aiyyo yo you know what I heard?
I heard Rob never got the wood
I heard Rob is frontin like the Great Pumpin on the woodie
And I heard Seth Lover? He got the WRONG woodie
He needs the positive... WOOOODIEEEE!
Aiyyo I'm goin home man; I'm goin home to tell my mother (BOOTS!)
I'm goin home to tell my mother about my first experience.. [fades]